Fun with sexual choreography…

So I’m writing my new wip, Fury, an erotic fantasy romance, and I came to a little section where my heroine, Ava, witnesses a woman she knows having sex with two men.  (Yes, this is my usual writing day 🙂 ).  I could ‘see’ the scene in my head, the corridor that Ava stood in, the scents, the sounds of the others witnessing the display…but the threesome were remarkably…absent.

So I played a bit of Barbie and Action Man in my head.  I had to flesh out where they were in relation to the room and each other.  It was mechanical and unsexy.  This is a sort of recreation.  I deleted the original monostrosity.

The guard lay beneath her on the bed, his hands firm on her breasts.  Another knelt between the splayed thighs of her and the guard. Eleta’s glistening skin, caught and gleaming in the golden light.

As I got more into viewing the characters, into almost using a full senses camera to move around the bed, taking in the sight of her skin, the way the light touched it, how they moved together, how that would feel, the little scene coalesced into this draft.

Ava couldn’t close her eyes. They’d thrown back the shutters to narrow arched window and golden light bathed the wide bed set in the middle of the small room.  It shone against a tangle of limbs, Eleta’s white skin gleaming with sweat.  The men, beneath and above her, found her with their mouths, their dicks.  Low groans, Eleta’s increasing cries and the wet slap of quickening flesh filled the air.

Ava tried to remember to breathe, her gaze fixed on where their bodies joined, watching the increasing slide of both men in and out of Eleta’s flesh.  Heat burned in Ava’s face, the warmth in her belly matching it.  The strength bound up with the three wet her mouth.

They’d fucked before, often, knew each other’s need and bodies so well the pleasure that burned from them was smooth and all consuming.

It’s still in the first draft stage – I wanted to get Ava to her hero 😀 – but I’d stopped worrying about where Tabs A and B went into Slots C, D and E and let the sensations of the act overtake the mechanics.

Advertisements

9 thoughts on “Fun with sexual choreography…

  1. When I can’t get the choreography right I draw stick figures and get all the details that way…Yes I do little sitck figures getting naughty..LOL..It always works….I love what you’ve come up with so far…

  2. Kim, I’m so glad you’re blogging. Hunting Evander was the first erotic title I ever read, and I loved it. ; )

    Thank goodness stick figures are sufficient for getting the mechanics down. If we had to draw anything more artistic than that, I’d be stuck. Off to sharpen my pencil . . .

  3. @Amber Green I have an artist’s doll knocking about somewhere. I could get a few…then I don’t think I’d get any work done. That’d be too much fun.
    And yes, working with a scent is a great idea 🙂

    @Aislynn Archer Thanks! Writing HE was a lot of fun 😀
    I took life drawing classes at college, but all artist skill has since fallen away. I’m with you on the sticks!

  4. I’ve tried to get DH to act out fight scenes with me. He has resisted so far. :/

    I’m intrigued by your excerpt. I’m wondering how this will all fit together in the end. Can’t wait to read it. 🙂

  5. Yep, my other half wouldn’t act out stuff…but I have asked awkward questions. Oh, stood over him whilst he filled out a questionnaire 😀

    And how it fits…we can both wonder about that, I think. The plot is still in flux…

Comments are closed.