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Thursday Thirteen – 13 possibly unexpected things about being a bodyguard

Thursday, 21 October, 2010

Wow, I haven’t done this in a while, mainly as the Mister Linky code didn’t work on WordPress.com.  But it’s late, I’m sick with a cold, I can’t sleep and I have a Ronan Keating earworm from hell…so I have to do something!

So from one of my evil plot bunnies that won’t leave me alone:

Thirteen possibly unexpected things about being a bodyguard

1.  Never wear a polyester suit.  Or a black one, apparently.

2.  Always over compensate and wear a belt and braces.  All those useful little things need a home to clip to…and the braces keep your trousers up.

3.  Ignore the no black rule for shoes.  They must be lace ups and parade gloss shiny.

4.  No jewellery.  Nose rings are out.

5.  Make sure your trousers aren’t fighting with your ankles and don’t have a collar that strangles your neck.

6.  Bodyguards must not stink.

7.  Bad breath is also a big no-no.  Give garlic a 48 hour ban

8.  No smoking, nose picking or playing pocket billards.  This last one will not apply to my heroine.  Just saying.

9.  A bodyguard should never look bored.

10. Don’t flirt with others whilst on the job.

11. Don’t chew gum.  Or blow bubbles.

12. Never be late.

13.  And lastly, always, always remember you’re hired help. Erm, my heroine will forget this last golden rule…

All this useful information came from The Bodyguard’s Bible

 

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16 Comments
  1. Thursday, 21 October, 2010 9:22 am

    LOL Pocket billards? I haven’t heard that one before. Great list.

  2. Thursday, 21 October, 2010 11:57 am

    Ha! It’s good to get the scoop on proper body guard behavior. Your heroine sounds interesting. :)

  3. Thursday, 21 October, 2010 12:25 pm

    Wow! Thank you for this plethora of invaluable information.lol Happy T13!

  4. ChrisQ permalink
    Thursday, 21 October, 2010 12:25 pm

    LOL, Love that. Great list of bodyguard do’s and don’t's hehe.

  5. Thursday, 21 October, 2010 1:42 pm

    I gotta tell ya – that’s a list I’ve never seen before. LOL!

    Happy TT!

  6. Thursday, 21 October, 2010 1:49 pm

    I hope you feel better! (((Healing Vibes)))

    Happy TT,

    ~Xakara
    13 Lessons If You Ever Find Yourself In A Horror Movie

  7. Thursday, 21 October, 2010 2:59 pm

    Cool list! Thank you and happy TT!

  8. Thursday, 21 October, 2010 4:02 pm

    LOL! Interesting TT!

    *hugs*
    Paige

    My TT is at http://paigetylertheauthor.blogspot.com/

  9. Thursday, 21 October, 2010 4:55 pm

    Pocket Billiards.. lols. Hope you feel better!

    Happy TT :)

    Mine is below in case you are still awake and need something to read. lol
    http://jenaissancedesign.blogspot.com/2010/10/thursday-thirteen.html

  10. Thursday, 21 October, 2010 5:19 pm

    LOL. That was an amusing respite from an otherwise dreary day. Hope you get to feeling better.

    Happy T13!

  11. Thursday, 21 October, 2010 6:05 pm

    I think Big Black from The Fantasy Factory breaks every one of these rules.

  12. Thursday, 21 October, 2010 6:21 pm

    An amusing list, and so glad I’m not the only person kept up by a cold last night. Though, once I did finally manage to fall asleep, I really slept. Hope you’re feeling better soon!

  13. Thursday, 21 October, 2010 8:16 pm

    LOL! NONE of my bodyguards act like that in my books.

  14. Friday, 22 October, 2010 12:27 am

    Fun!! How serious is this Bodyguards’ Bible, I wonder?…

  15. Friday, 22 October, 2010 4:35 am

    Luv it!

    Don’t forget the must-have ‘stern face’…no smiling allowed

    Thanx for the post

Comments are closed.

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